Celibate christian dating

22-Sep-2014 20:54

This is basically what Justice Kennedy said in the supreme court decision on Gay Marriage.

He writes of those wishing to marry, “Their hope is to not be condemned to live in loneliness, .

You can’t go around preaching that message for decades and then dust off the other path for a few people.

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But instead, I want to respond to this person’s understanding in a very different way.

Jennifer's, Samantha's and John's concerns are common, because according to the U. Census Bureau, 19.3 million Americans get divorced each year, and many of them date and eventually remarry.

Perhaps you share their concerns, as you're also wondering how you can reenter the dating world after divorce — and do so according to God's standards. Divorce is the death of the dreams you had when you committed yourself "for better or for worse." As a Christian, you can't simply separate from your spouse one day and hit the dating field the next.

The evangelical culture says that each person, at least each man, can not possibly contain their sexual desire. The message is that it is controlling you, bigger than you, bigger than your moral agency, bigger than your spiritual maturity. If the way to holiness is marriage then what we are saying is that the person called to celibacy, the person with the gift of celibacy, the person born without desire to get married, the person who can’t get married, or the person who doesn’t desire the opposite sex, cannot be holy on their own. We have to have a more complete theology (or picture if you will) of how celibacy and marriage are both pictures of the Kingdom and both paths to holiness and wholeness. We have to be counter cultural, not just sub-cultural. If the Church (read all of us) don’t step back and consider the whole picture of celibacy and marriage, no one else will.

Therefore the only answer available to holiness is marriage. By doing this we are literally agreeing with secular culture that sexual desire must be fulfilled in order for a person to be whole and holy. If celibacy is something that someone is “condemned to” then we are all in a lot of trouble. Try to put it out of my mind a thousand times a day? There are thousands of believers who struggle in this area. Sex was His idea in the first place, and He calls what He created "good." He gave us marriage so that we would have the freedom to enjoy and celebrate our sexuality in the most healthy and satisfying way. Or those who have married, only to lose our spouse to death or divorce?

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