Dating two men quotes


20-Dec-2014 03:28

(One might even wonder if this would be considered emotional infidelity at all, since your committed partner "relinquished" any claim on your affections.) lover)—is this arrangement fair to him or her?Of course, he or she may agree with it (or have reconciled to it), and there is a sense in which you can accept this as justification.But it seems hard to defend a essentially monogamous nature to love itself without first assuming that lovers want monogamy, which is circular reasoning.But if you're in a relationship with someone that does expect monogamy and exclusivity (as many of us are), then loving somebody else at the same time does represent a problem.And for the time being, we're not going to worry about defining emotional infidelity—does flirting count, or what about emailing or texting throughout the day, and so on—that's a topic for another day and another post (or perhaps another blogger! We're talking about being in love or falling in love with another person, which I think most people would consider to represent emotional infidelity (or, at least, is a good sign of it).Some people would deny that you can truly and fully love more than one person at a time.Although dating two guys and having to choose between them is certainly something my friend Julie's mom would call a "champagne problem," it can be tougher than it looks. Someone once told me, "It's not about how much you like who you're in a relationship with, it's how much you like the person you are with him." Are they super-lopsided in terms of qualities? Make a list of 20 qualities you want in a guy and see how both of them measure up. This may contradict the last one, but try not to overthink it...

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In a nonideal relationship like this, it is more likely that you could become emotionally connected to another person, even fall in love, without neglecting your partner in any emotional sense, since by assumption, that ship has sailed.(And if your partner is not aware of the other relationship, then you've brought deception into the mix, either through silence, hiding, and sneaking around, or by outright lying.) Of course, your significant other may not value monogamy, in which case presumably you can be open about your other relationship.Another possibility is that your partner is no longer emotionally committed to the relationship, which is maintained for other reasons, such as children, finances, cultural or religious factors, and so forth.This is reminiscient of what I wrote in my post regarding inadequacy: it's one thing to respect the other person's choice, but it's another to hang too much weight on that when you feel it's not the best choice for him or her.

Do you really want this person you love—more than your committed partner—to settle for second place, in your day-to-day life if not your heart?This may be true with some resources like time or money, but not as obviously true with respect to affection; after all, parents can have more than one child without loving any of them less, so why can't a person romantically love more than one person?



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